Law And More

Lawyers Over-50: Of Course, You Still Need a Close Friend

Pop culture has hammered the health benefits of solid relationships. That goes way back to the Beatles' tune "Eleanor Rigby."

In more scientific terms, there is that Brigham Young University report which found this: Those with strong friendships live 7.5 years longer than those with few or mediocre social relationships. 

Yet, too many of the over-50 I coach come to me because they don't have a close friend to sort things out with. Had they, they might not need to set up a formal relationship with a coach like myself after a career setback or unexpected success. Maria Paul even published a book titled "The Friendship Crisis: Finding, Making and Keeping Friends When You're Not a Kid Anymore."

In MarketWatch, Gary M. Stern looks at what I call The New Loneliness. His article is filled with expert advice on everything from how to maintain a long-term friendship to when to let it go. Other articles have covered the nuts and bolts of starting over on developing a close relationship later in life.

Of course, given the volatility of the 21st century, generalizations seem cartoonish. But there are common threads in our little lives after-50.

One is that ageism, that is the bias against seasoned highly-paid workers, pushes us to focus more and more on landing, holding, and moving on to better work. Simultaneously, no matter how much time we spend at the gym, the energy level is lower.

Our families or the significant other are just about all we can keep going, in terms of personal intimacy. Also, betrayals have made us more guarded. In addition, we change. The world changes. What we find relaxing changes.

But, it is possible to keep the old friendships going and to add new ones. That is the rite of passage of The New Aging. There seems to be the aura of what is best about closeness with non-family members and it hovers over our consciousness.  That analogy is the dream going to college was when we were struggling amid the regimentation of high school, still living at home. 

So, what are the friendship maintenance or new development musts? Essentially they come down to sending the signal that we are accessible. The mindfulness crowd calls that "Being Fully Present." Of course, we have to limit that to only a few. It consumes energy.

One 60-year-old lawyer I coached made her New Year's resolution to nurture one friendship from back in her law school days and to experiment with new ones at the gym. For that she had to slow down. That to-do list panned out. Currently, she contacts them with professional problems, not me.

In a sense, the best coaching helps professionals create their own resources for sorting out what goes down in earning a living. Ideally, we could all be our own coach, if we have a close friend in the loop.

Communications Strategy/Services and Career Coaching. Special areas of expertise include professionals over-50 and students applying to degree programs in higher education.

 

Complimentary initial consultation. Sliding scale fees. Contact Jane Genova for an appointment janegenova374@gmail.com.

 

Law School = 20th Century - Online Rat School = 2018

The message society is getting is: Yes, be a rat. Forget the old-neighborhood ethos that the snitch winds up in the ditch. 

The emerging success formula is to position oneself in a setting to pick up information that can later be ratted out. Along with fame, money, and power, there's the fun of watching the brandname players scared. 

Omarosa M. Newman is an amazing rat.

Her book "Unhinged" is #2 on Amazon.

It has received 52 customer reviews, earning a 4.6 ranking. That's extreme success even for books in The Rat Genre. And, as we all know, The Rat Genre is one of the few categories of books which had been brisk sellers in this post-book era. 

In media, thanks to the book, along with her many tapes, Omarosa is receiving even more attention than the supposed genius in that art - Donald Trump. Some watchers of this war even are speculating that Trump might now be punching above his weight.

Given that ratting is generating such outstanding outcomes, all of us must now become entirely circumspect.

There is no confiding.

No speaking our mind, not in public.

No being bad and then boasting of it to others.

We have to assume that the followers of the Omarosa model are recording. It could not only be on audio. It could also be on video. 

A clever entrepreneur will launch an online Rat School for the ambitious to learn how to retrieve, package, and distribute damaging data. 

Communications Strategy/Services and Career Coaching. Special areas of expertise include professionals over-50 and students applying to degree programs in higher education.

 

Complimentary initial consultation. Sliding scale fees. Contact Jane Genova for an appointment janegenova374@gmail.com.

Lawyers - Guiding Your Children In Preparing Their College Application Essay

Admissions committees frequently take the essay part of that college application packet seriously.

That's because it provides them insight into who the applicant is as a person, what unique value can that person add to the mix of students, and if he or she will eventually enhance the brand of that educational institution.

In addition, they are aware of how they are perceived in terms of preparation for a career. Consequently, the applicants should indicate that they have a realistic understanding of that pragmatic issue. 

The importance of what they put down and how they do that is obvious. Even The New York Times published a how-to on that. 

In coaching students in the United States, Canada, and China on how to present themselves effectively, I hammer these 4 musts. You can go through the same process with your children. This is the drill:

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Make it personal. Tell them: This is about you. That means the tone and stylistics will capture your very individual identity. No, don't try to sound like the smartest, most community oriented, or most popular student in your high school. You are you, not them. 

However, you must, as the saying goes, stay in the box in use of language. Profanity and excessive use of slang/pop culture phrases are not in the box. 

Provide details. Soon enough when you get to college and take a formal course in exposition, the instructor will continually emphasize making your statements concrete. That is, provide details. For example, in the essay, you don't simply state you have gained from overcoming adversity.

Describe the nature of ordeal and specific takeaways. Here is an example:

"In May 2016, dad came home from work 'early.' We knew: His law firm had been laying off for 16 months. The first thought was about me and how the family would be able to pay for college. Then, somehow I got it that  I could help him and, therefore, mom and my brother. 'Dad, I said, the basement will be your office.' I gave up that private space. I asked at the deli for more hours on my schedule. I brought him more into my little life.

"Dad started a business in dog grooming. Now he has a van for mobile services. We all pitch in. I like what I'm learning about business and have decided to major in it. My dream is to create a service which guides families through transitions. Right now I am there to listen to a classmate whose parents are both unemployed. The ideal internship would be in an outplacement firm. The one my father used introduced him to how to work for himself."

Explain why you selected this particular college. That serves multiple purposes. First of all, that shows you have done your research. Secondly, through what you say, you are indicating that you have thought through that this is the right fit for you. The committee will be reassured you will stick with it for four years and not transfer or just drop out after one. And, three, you are using the charm offensive. Everyone likes to hear good things about themselves. Those include committee members. Cite what aspects of the college which you find awesome. 

Proofread. Of course, you're going to do that. However, you have to do it every time you revise the essay. That editing process frequently generates new typos and grammatical errors. Also, it's wise to have another pair of eyes checking spelling and grammar. 

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A question I continually receive from those I coach on essays is: Should they create a unique letter for each school?

Answer: That depends.

Frequently, customizing a pattern letter is enough. However, each institution has its own identity. If there is a major difference between the identity of School X and School Y, then it's smart strategy for your children to start from scratch on each essay.

Will your children listen to your guidance? Probably not. That's when you might have to parachute in a third party for coaching. 

Complimentary consultation available about coaching the preparation of your college admission essays. Please make an appointment at janegenova374@gmail.com.

 

The New Aging - Will Lawyers Nurture Their Inner Madonna

Those who I assumed were envious of Madonna Louise Ciccone would tsk-tsk: Wait 'till she gets old. They figured that curse of aging would finish her.

Well, she is old.

Soon she will be celebrating her 60th birthday. And she isn't finished. Maybe, like Clint Eastwood in film and Rupert Murdoch in empire-building, her influence will go on and on into her 80s and beyond.

In The Guardian, Barbara Ellen chronicles how she has already reshaped global pop culture. 

Her presence might have been and could endure as an extension of Andy Warhol's realization that being embedded in the worldwide consciousness is how celebrity is created.

Madonna did that, primarily through continually transforming herself. There had been a Madonna of the 70s, 80s, 90s, and beyond.

Among the personas were the young woman who was imbued with Catholic memes, the musician who wore underwear as outerwear and simulated the movements of sexual intercourse on stage, and the earth mother. 

That presence so dominated that it was difficult for it not to seep into her acting roles. Never could she fully portray a character the way Edie Falco gave us Carmela Soprano. 

In her aging, she could be the one who pulls off totally overhauling the image of what "old" is.

Given her transformational powers she could reset how the world perceives the aging.

As with those becoming 13 in the post-war era, she can cook up a whole new category of those who should be watched, analyzed, feared, and imitated.

Back then, that emerging demographic was labeled "teenager." Thanks to them, Elvis, the record industry, television, the drive-in where in pre-pill days it didn't go beyond petting, rebellion, and going to college caught fire.

Our 60-and-over demographic could become the prevailing model for professional success on your own terms.

Many who already analyze us, such as psychotherapist Thomas Moore, observe aging tends to soften us and we become calm about many aspects of life. Instead of one-dimensionally chasing after our individual success to pile up material rewards, we embrace an other-directed purpose. Younger generations sense this and head toward us as mentors. Moore's brisk-selling book is "Ageless Soul."

In addition, other thought leaders such as journalist Dan Lyons note how resilient we are becoming in the face of age discrimination. His book is "Disrupted."

Frequently that takes the form of getting the boot because we are at a high salary. At age 52, at Newsweek, Lyons received what has become known as the "tap on the shoulder." Soon enough he got it that supporting his family meant continually scrambling to find work.

That's exactly what we aging have learned to do so well. We are the heroes of the revolution in the global labor market.

In this 600-unit rental complex in Eastern Ohio, about 40% are over-60.

We have created an informal network about where the work is and the savvy way to apply for it.

A 64-year-old told us not to work at X retailer, whose branding is all warm and fuzzy, because it, when sales receipts aren't meeting quota, sends workers home. No it doesn't ask if they want to leave early. It tells them to go. 

When I let it be known I was hunting for retirees to interview for a book I'm assisting with, two volunteered. With grace and humor, they described a life they hadn't expected: Retirement which demands part-time jobs to financially survive.

In a sense, we have all taken on the brash confidence and experimentation of Madonna. And, hahaha, like her we are shocking.

Colleagues were bug-eyed when I took a vow of poverty after my mind, enterprise, and nest egg blew into a million pieces in 2003. I had been one of those with the This Old House on the Gold Coast of Connecticut and a getaway at an EastCoast beach. Currently my lifestyle is that of a medieval monk. 

Takeaway: Allow our inner Madonna to point us to our emerging purpose in work and our personal lives.

Coaching, auditing, lecturing, and writing/ghostwriting thought leadership content on ageism.  

 

For individual coaching – sliding scale fees. Complimentary initial consultation. The displaced over-50 get back to work. Mature professionals who are working advance their careers. Contact Jane Genova janegenova374@gmail.com.

 

“Over-50: Outsmarting Your Comfort Zone” http://over-50.typepad.com/over-50/2018/05/outsmarting-your-comfort-zone-free-book.html

 “Over-50: The Four Monsters in the Mind” http://over-50.typepad.com/over-50/2018/04/ageism-bites-.html

 

Lawyers - Rebranding DYI

The world of Trump Administration watchers has noted that the president's  former personal fixer Michael Cohen has dropped that credential from his LinkedIn content. Here is the coverage from BusinessInsider.

The reason the deletion is significant is that LinkedIn has become the platform for rebranding. Its power is so intense that much if not all of reconfiguring our professional identity can be done as a Do It Yourself (DIY). 

About seven months ago I decided to transform a side hustle - coaching those over-50 - into my primary profit center. The one I had nurtured for decades - communications strategy and content creation - had become glutted. The results included reduced average compensation and abrasive treatment by clients. 

As with all startups, positioning and packaging the coaching business involved plenty of mistakes. But, we learn.

The bits of success I was experiencing were happening on LinkedIn. Therefore, I invested lots more energy on that platform.

That included taking the risk of overhauling my LinkedIn profile. I put myself out there as a coach, first, and a communications expert, second. Of course, I was scared.

The articles I published on ageism such as on Odwyerpr.com I repurposed on LinkedIn Updates and put links to them on my formal profile.

I refocused my blogging on my three syndicated sites and on the new one I launched on WordPress on aging. Those posts I also repurposed on LinkedIn.

I wrote and published four ebooks on some aspect of aging. You bet, there were links to them on LinkedIn Updates.

There were two results.

One was expected: Coaching assignments came in.

The other was unexpected: High-end communications work was offered to me because of the rebranding. Some clients assumed that since I am a coach I would demonstrate more empathy with who they were and what they needed. Others were thrilled to find out there was the hybrid who knew aging issues and communications.

What didn't work? Among the tactics which didn't have a high return on investment were email blasts, unsolicited pitches to carefully selected targets, messaging to contacts on LinkedIn, comments/likes on others' posts about aging, and posting on Facebook and Twitter. 

What also has been promising is posting content on Medium. It has no gatekeepers and its readers are hungry for fresh perspectives. 

Along the way in this rebranding, I also performed a Stalin-like purge on those on my network associated with my specialization in social media. That was necessary for me to fully embrace my new identity.

In the breakthrough book "Necessary Endings," executive coach Henry Cloud hammers the need to continue to prune people, places, and things which keep us tethered to the past. In the 20th century, Judith Viorst developed the same meme in "Necessary Losses."

When in the past we can't discern opportunity in the present. 

Coaching, auditing, lecturing, and writing/ghostwriting thought leadership content on ageism.  

 

For individual coaching – sliding scale fees. Complimentary initial consultation. The displaced over-50 get back to work. Mature professionals who are working advance their careers. Contact Jane Genova janegenova374@gmail.com.

 

Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales" - The Pardoner

 

In medieval times, the religious pilgrimage was an acceptable way to get away from one's small village and see the world.

Geoffrey Chaucer, who had a wry sense of humor and extreme insight into pretense, used that journey as a platform for what became a literary classic: "The Canterbury Tales."

In the days when there were still English majors we had to read it in Middle English. But the ordeal was worth it. Long before Martin Luther had had it with the corruption in the Roman Catholic Church, Chaucer saw the darkness positioned and packaged as piety.

One of his most memorable pilgrims was the character known as "The Pardoner." With a quick eye for marketing, The Pardoner knew the target market to zero in on. He went along for the trip. He sold forgiveness.

In the Roman Catholic Church, there had been a brisk business in indulgences. For a price, sinners could have their sins removed (like paying a lawyer to do what it takes to expunge your criminal record). Anyone who understands what peace of mind brings to a life would get why that niche profit center thrived.

As Chaucer chronicles, The Pardoner was a busy bee hawking indulgences. From Chaucer's account, it seems that the seller knew this was a scam. The Pardoner was canny in sizing up what buttons to press. And that whatever he was selling was not going to save any souls. 

Of course, there are many versions of The Pardoner today. The very term "pardon" has a pull force. What human being doesn't want to be pardoned from the inner torment and public shame of past transgressions?

In my coaching I have found that it's often those inner demons which are the key obstacles in professional success. Here, free to download, is my book on them. An irony is that among older professionals, even those who haven't "sinned" assume they have. 

Today U.S. President Donald Trump pardoned conservative Dinesh D'Souza who had served prison time. Here is an analysis of that pardoning ethos by CNN.

Coaching, auditing, lecturing, and writing/ghostwriting thought leadership content on ageism.  

 

For individual coaching – sliding scale fees. Complimentary initial consultation. The displaced over-50 get back to work. Mature professionals who are working advance their careers. Contact Jane Genova janegenova374@gmail.com.

 

Authenticity - Approach With Care

"Authentic" is the meme in public speaking, consumer relations, and personal relationships.

In all three categories the concept frequently is misunderstood.

That triggers so many messes - professionally and personally.

For example, the managing partners being coached to deliver a speech are told they must reveal who they are.

Unfortunately, too much of the 20-minute delivery is self-focused. Yawn. The audience files that event as an un-requested selfie.

The front lines in a consumer products corporation, represented by your law firm,  is instructed to be real with those contacting them inbound.

Unfortunately, in those situations, too, the results are negative. Customers phoning in with a problem want the problem solved, not a heavy dosing of empathy.  Or conversations about all the snow in their part of the country.

Then there are personal relationships. Too many too early reveal too much, both good and bad, in their struggle to be authentic.

However, the other parties didn't put in an order for that level of intimacy. Not yet. In fact, they expect the best-foot-forward kind of performance art in the relationship, at least for a while. 

What "authentic" really means is that the words are aligned with the behavior. When there's a disconnect, that's rightly classified as "inauthentic." 

The managing partners say they want to hear from the audience. They limit their remarks to 15 minutes, leaving 45 for the audience. They are being authentic.

The consumer products corporation says it cares about customers. Scripts for call centers are created totally for problem-solving, not social prompts. The corporation is awarded for being authentic. There are few complaints filed with regulatory agencies. 

The law associate has taken his "person of interest" to the tennis courts three times. He has promised to help the other person improve his/her game. Four-fifths of their time together is spent focused on tennis. The other party sizes up the man as authentic.

How not to be perceived as inauthentic? Don't promise what you can't deliver. That includes in recruiting new talent. Such an alignment could downsize negative employee reviews on Glassdoor.

Irritated with your communications results? Complimentary consultation. No pressure. Please contact Jane Genova janegenova374@gmail.com.

Legal Marketers - Digital Not Numbers Game

Digital media is now a mature industry.

Sure, some early adopters have not only survived the volatility of the internet. They have scaled and keep on scaling.

The iconic example is the Drudge Report. It had established its presence by breaking The Intern Story, that is, Monica Lewinsky's quasi-sexual relationship with then-U.S. President Bill Clinton.

But many others haven't fared as well.

Gawker, whose MO was to max attention, pushed the envelope too far. One celebrity it flamed with a video tape - Hulk Hogan - pushed back. His lawsuit, funded by venture capitalist Peter Thiel (who also had been pushed too far by Gawker), ended Gawker.

And, some, such as Buzzfeed, seem to be cool. The in crowd is reading it. Social influencers link to it. Digital media startups identify themselves as The Next Level Buzzfeed.

However, what we know is that Buzzfeed is in the now-classic pickle of being able to create lots of attention without producing enough revenue to pass The Success Test. Today, many members of media, establishment and digital, are running with the story that Laurene Powell, widow of Steve Jobs, could be the philanthropist who "saves" Buzzfeed. Here is one bit of coverage from Recode.

That may or may not happen.

What is the takeaway for not only digital media but also all digital communications (including what public relations wizards and social influencers conjure up) is this: Attention, in itself, means less and less.

To be commercially relevant is how, specifically, attention is achieving objectives. Those range from producing revenue and then profits to enhancing the brand, in measurable ways, of an individual, cause, or organization.

Partner at public affairs firm kglobal - Gene Grabowski - presented a brilliant case study of how attention-getting can actually be counterproductive.

In his seminal opinion-editorial, Grabowski describes the additional problems created by lawyer Lisa Bloom. She had been representing alleged sexual predator Harvey Weinstein. The bottom line on that one is that Bloom lacked the background to manage the strategies and tactics associated with publicity. Here you can read Grabowski's analysis. 

What is most counterintuitive in digital communications is that how a blog post which received only minor traffic resulted in new business development for a law firm or a sponsored content placement for a social influencer.

That's The First Law of Digital Media.

The Second Law of Digital Media is to not assume that seemingly cool media players are the ones to partner with on projects.

Last year I endured the nightmare of such a supposed cool entity being the middleman on an assignment for a government contractor. Long story short, the invoice was not paid. After I turned over all that to a collection agency it was confirmed that cool doesn't necessarily mean financially solvent. 

Reflection: Digital is not a numbers game.

Irritated with your communications results? Complimentary consultation. No pressure. Please contact Jane Genova janegenova374@gmail.com.

 

Peace of Mind - Why the Need for Ongoing Cushion Time

Hmmmmm. I would look up from my cushion three times a week at the Buddhist meditation center in New Haven, Connecticut.

What the hell are they doing here? That's what I wondered. 

Among them were big-time successes ranging from those partners who commute on the Metro North to their Manhattan law firms to brandname journalists.  If I had their money, fame, and influence, I reflected, I wouldn't need to swing by the Buddhist temple multiple times every week. 

That was 2013.

I was so far away from understanding or experiencing what peace of mind was that, of course, I was clueless that there is no necessary correlation between what appears and what is.

Five years, hundreds of miles away, and lots of cushion time later it all seems so obvious. Actually, it is about what we in Roman Catholic schools were forced to pray for ourselves, our families, and the atheists in Russia: peace of mind.

Essentially, peace of mind represents that paradigm shift from wrestling with what was (as if we could really know that since memory plays many tricks on us), and what could be (assuming planet earth will endure) to embracing in the moment what is. And experiencing the blessings.

The ultimate test of that is when business is slow for an entrepreneur such as myself. Or the managing partner at a law firm.

My meditation teacher instructs me to be grateful for that state of enterprise being.

At the very least, it provides space to strategically and tactically up my game. Actually, that is exactly what happened in the fall of 2016. The outcome had been record revenues. 

More importantly, that pause is full of teachable moments.

I got it that it is counterproductive in personal branding to try so hard. When prospects contact me with possible assignments, I listen. I don't parachute in with the kinds of sales pitches law firms position and package on late-night television. 

Another bit of insight is that there is no way anyone can control what others are thinking or saying about them. Sure, branding experts can achieve some of that for clients. That's a growing trend for individuals and organization which fall from grace in these volatile times. 

But, on a human level, it's the path of madness to be preoccupied with what goes on in others' heads - and hearts. All we can manage is our minute-by-minute response to what the universe seems to be dishing out. Peace of mind is a difficult entity to hold onto.

That's exactly why the BigNames in professional life continue to do heavy cushion time.

Irritated with your communications results? Complimentary consultation. No pressure. Please contact Jane Genova janegenova374@gmail.com.

When Thinking/Talking Like a Lawyer Hits a Wall ...

Both real-life payouts in litigation ("Hogan v. Gawker") and pop-culture ("Law & Order SVU") teach the need to think/talk like a lawyer.

In this Internet era, here's the good news: Many of those fundamentals can be acquired without attending law school.

You just have to key in, for example, "implied contract," to determine your legal grounds for demanding payment for services you rendered without a formal written contract. Here is a detailed briefing on that by Nolo. 

However, as prominent lawyer and book author - Mark Herrmann - explains on Abovethelaw.com, that might not be adequate to expose an alleged wrong and seek a remedy. Here is his column today hammering the importance of what is traditionally called "media protection."

Media protection is not bullet-proof. But it has a track record for being powerful in achieving what you want to out, obtaining justice for what you perceive as a wrong done you, and not being murdered or losing your career.

Most recently, the iconic play-out of that was the large settlement former on-air Fox News personality - Gretchen Carlson - received for alleged sexual harassment by the cable network's late head - Roger Ailes.

As someone who had long been a media player, Carlson understood how to get her story picked up by journalists and social media influencers.

In the process, she not only became wealthy. She carved out a new career path. In addition to publishing brisk-selling book "Be Fierce," she has, for instance, acquired power as voluntary head of the Miss America competition. 

Former Uber engineer - Susan Fowler - also has had outstanding results, personally and professionally, for discussing the company's alleged sexual misconduct in her blog. Along the way, she was protected from tech-industry blackballing through establishing a media presence which keeps resonating.

A much more mundane example of the importance of media protection is taking on small businesses in order to simply be paid for services rendered.

It was becoming obvious that a government contractor and the middleman on the account were likely not going to pay. I attempted to solve that by thinking/talking like a lawyer.

That didn't bring the check in the mail.

Next I turned it over to an official debt collection firm which does use legal tools. No results.

Then I blogged about the situation, using my three syndicated blogs and Twitter. Here is one of those posts.

It is reckless to assume a cause-effect relationship when we don't have the facts.

However, it might have been more than a happy coincidence that hours after I leveraged social media and a social network, the company handling the collection notified me that the invoice had been paid in full.

I will never know if using media had been tipping point. And, I don't care. The issue is the money.

Because I had objectively described my situation in the court of public opinion, I did not anticipate any blackballing for asserting what I perceived to be my legal right. So far, it doesn't seem to have happened.

The takeaway is that individuals seeking justice and advocacy organizations should consider investing in the resources media, establishment and social, can provide. In the long run, that might be less expensive and more effective than taking legal action. 

Place your sponsored content (short and long form) and links on this site. Affordable fees. Strategic guidance/ghostwriting also available. For complimentary consultation, please contact Jane Genova (janegenova374@gmail.com).