Edmund Reilly, 47: Latest Finance Suicide

A family friend of the late Edmund Reilly, reports the New York Post, said that last Sunday, he "didn't look good."  

Today this trader, 47, at the Vertical Group, based in Midtown Manhattan, committed suicide. At 6:00 A.M. he threw himself in front of a Long Island Rail Road train.  That was near the Syosset train station.  Here is that coverage from the Post.

Since no one has come back from a successful suicide to deconstruct the feeling set, we really know so little.  Sure, there are theories.  Some of the most persuasive have been presented by Johns Hopkins professor Kay Redfield Jamison. Bipolar she attempted checking out but is here to tell the tale. She, for example, discusses the cluster phenomenon - suicide as a sort of fad.  That could be taking place in finance as the industry changes. In the legal sector, there were the seeming cluster suicides of middle aged male lawyers. At NYU, one has come to expect student suicides.

But that only explains a small part of the big act.  As yet, science still hasn't seemed to have broken the code of how the decision gets made and then enacted.  What we do know is that as Reilly's family friend observed: The professional frequently doesn't look good.  

Last night at a 12-step meeting was a classic example of the outside reflecting the internal whatever.  At work, a lawyer in the hospitality industry had been told by colleagues that he didn't look good.  He remained shut-down.  Then at the meeting he opened up a wee bit to disclose that he had not grasped a helping hand at work. Maybe that was smart, given the shark tank work can be. 

But he didn't go much further than that at the meeting.  His suffering is palpable. Twice recently he had gone gone on 17-hour drinking binges.  Before that he had had two decades substance-free.  His marriage tanked.  Several weeks ago he said he didn't like his job. Yes, we know he is likely to kill himself.  Men in the program keep reaching out. I doubt if they are reaching in.  Legally, of course, there is nothing yet that can be done.

Comments

[Cristiana Reilly]

In light of the recent passing of Robin Williams and the horrible and untrue comments towards his family, I feel the obligation to respond to these comments made against my family, especially my mom, after the death of my dad. This is Cristiana Reilly. I am the 16 year old daughter to Eddie for those who don’t know my family well enough to even know my age. First off, I’d like to inform you anonymous cowards about the depression my dad faced. You blame my mom for his suicide but what you don’t know is my dad has been suffering with depression for many years, well before my parents even met. My mom was the one helping my dad and bringing him to appointments to help with his depression and in no way has she ever tried to turn my sister, my brother, or I against him. If you knew my mom well enough you would know that she is the most kind, considerate, and caring woman and none of you have the right to say she turned us against my dad. My dad lived around the corner from us so we saw him all of the time. Of course they had their issues just like any other divorced couple, but at the end of the day they still had their love towards each other. You might be thinking why would a 16 year old know about all of this but I am much smarter than you think and certainly much smarter than you all. At least I have the courage to write my name unlike many of you who have never even met my family and I. This is not the first time I have been on this site. I saw these comments back a couple months ago when my dad passed away. I hope it warms your hearts that you made a 16 year old girl cry, making it even worse that I had to deal with these harsh words and the death of my dad.

If I am correct about who two of these comments are from, I would like to tell you how sad it is when your god daughter and god son have to ask who their god fathers are. You two have not been in my dad’s life for many years and you have the nerve to write these comments when you don’t even know who we are. Not to mention, you two haven’t even called Anthony or Elizabeth to ask how they are doing. Shame on you. I also find it disgusting that you two showed up to my dad’s funeral to then post these lies. You never even said hello. I see my neighbor has posted a comment, who we haven’t spoken to for years after he almost hit me with his car. You know my dad did not like you at all and he still doesn’t so why would you even make a comment when you have not even had a conversation with my dad for years. If my dad was here you know damn well that he would want to send you through a window because of the lies you have posted.

I’m informing you all of how false the information that you have posted on this site is, especially of how you portray my mom. I am speaking the truth and only the truth. None of you have the right to act like you knew what was going on because where were you when my dad was dealing with his depression? Obviously not helping him that’s for sure. He didn’t even know you well enough to tell you about his depression but he did tell his family. The only nice comments on here are from my family who knew my mom and my siblings better than you ever will.

When I first found this site and went into hysterics about these horrible comments made, my mom told me that we live in a broken world with evil people in it and the best you can do for these people is to pray for them, so that is what I will continue to do. I feel horrible for the children of Robin Williams who have to read comments just like these. I hope none of you ever have to suffer the pain and sadness that my family and I will have for the rest of our lives. Thank you all for showing me the kind of people you all are. Don’t judge what you don’t understand.

My dad would be proud that I am sticking up for my family and I. There is always time for forgiveness and I hope that some of you will take that to your advantage.

I love you daddy.

[Jimmy Reilly]

As the brother of Eddie, I'd just like to ask everyone to stand back and think about what you are saying. Eddie is gone now and the rest of his family have to carry on. Can you all do the same now please? Stop all the comments about his life, his wife and his children.

Jimmy Reilly

[John Doe]

Apologies also, Jamie, but unfortunately I have to agree with anonymous above. The matter became public the minute it made headlines and to those of us who knew him closely as I did for the past 11 years he was quite vocal in the matters you consider private. I have witnessed many events & written attempts that his wife took against him that she should have been arrested for to say nothing of the moral and ethical factor. That does not mean she was the only reason for his suicide. It was clearly many things all at once (including his medical issues). But her lack of love and basic human kindness and respect toward him certainly fueled the fire even if you do not wish to recognize it. Don't ever be fooled into thinking that children (and this applies to all children) don't know what is going on. They have known long before Eddie's death and these posts exactly what has been going on, whether they vocalize it or not. The depth of their awareness goes much deeper than any of us can imagine. But do not fear, for their soul will guide them and they will come to their own truth. I am sorry for your loss, we are all grieving.

[anonymous]

Apologies but this private matter became public when Eddie's tragic suicide made headlines in both the U.S. and UK. If his children have read this blog, as they progress into their teenage years and adulthood, may these posts serve to educate and inform them of the depths of their mother's mental illness and the abuse and torment their father suffered at her hands.

[Eddie's Cousin]

To those of you who posted above, this is Eddie's cousin, Jamie. I gave part of the eulogy at his funeral mass this past Friday, and I was very close to my cousin, whom I loved dearly.

I am asking that each of you delete your posts immediately. You are issuing public comments about a private family matter that you know nothing about, and that, quite frankly, is none of your business. Eddie's children came across this blog, and read your posts - they were devastated. Shame on all of you.

His death was not caused by any one person, event or even series of events, of that I can assure you. Eddie would have been disgusted with all of this.

I have asked Jane Genova, who initiated this blog, to take it down. Since that hasn't happened, I again ask you to delete your comments at once and let my family and I grieve in peace.

[A special friend]

Eddie Reilly was a beautiful, smart and talented person who I had the immense privilege of knowing for 25 years. His ex-wife set out to destroy him and succeeded. This so-called Catholic will get what she deserves in her afterlife. The court system also failed Eddie and the judges who kept this going should be absolutely ashamed of themselves. Eddie I know you are watching over your kids and you mother. We loved you so very, very much.

[anonymous]

I knew and worked with Eddie for more than 2 decades, and watched his demise through a long and drawn out separation & divorce. I can say with intimate knowledge that his children have been betrayed by our court system.
The courts gave leverage to a woman who does not have the BEST interests of her children in mind. And she used this leverage to demoralize a great father, friend and neighbor.
We all heard the letters from the children read in Church. Could their be a more loving father? How many men walked away from the funeral thinking how much more they could do for their own children?

She has already used Eddie's cell phone to text a poster on this board to complain about his comments. Such and awfully sad and desperate act.

I pray for the kids, and for a change in the courts. Has society ruled forever that the children should ALWAYS go to the mother in cases of separation and divorce?

How do we monetize the proceedings? Do we take "current economic conditions" into consideration when judges rule on alimony & child support?
Where are we as a society if we blindly rule in favor of one side over another?!
He did not deserve to be treated the way he was, and to be confined by the courts.
Something has to be done. I will always feel that the courts and his ex-wife were complicit in his untimely and tragic ending.
Rest in peace my friend.

[John Doe]

A Scotland native making NY his new home. Eddie was a wonderful man and father in every aspect. His love for his children extended far beyond what we have come to conventionally accept as good fatherhood. Unfortunately, as Mr. Sheehan stated above, the legal system failed to recognize and support a man who truly had the best financial and emotional interest of his children at heart. As such his ex-wife who was adept at manipulating the system kept him legally entangled 8 years post separation. Her unrelenting abuse and illegal harassment (using her children as pawns), unchecked by a failing legal system, coupled with the crash of Wall St and floundering bond market led him to step in front of the moving train. For those who knew him, they will remember his humor, love of soccer and love for all children, not just his own. May his memory be eternal.

[Serge Grynkorn]

I totally concur with the comments posted by Jane Doe on March 13, 2014 at 02:41PM.
Ed rented an apartment a few yards away from his own house to be near by his kids. His ex-wife used him, abused him and when he could not pay child support because of the bad job and economic situation, she turned the kids against him!!! In this case, I hope God is watching...
John Doe

[Jane doe]

Ed Reilly was a good man and devoted father. He suicided because his ex wife beat him down for 10 years and alienated him from the one thing he lived for - his kids. God rest his soul.