"My father's an electrician. Maybe that's why I can't get a law job." A newbie JD from the class of 2007 told me that over the phone around Christmas. She wanted to hire me as her executive coach.
"You can't get a job because you're telling the wrong story." That's what I told her. In the next 25 minutes I gave her a more accurate narrative of her skills and what she could offer a law firm. I didn't charge her. That's all part of the process of being part of the emerging First-Gen Mafia. She nailed a job in Manhattan the next day, no kidding. She insisted on paying me. No, I told her, pass it on - to some other professional with no pedigree.
Unlike earlier First Gen lawyers, consultants, writers and corporate types, we are finally learning to help, not torment, make feel small, or even hurt, each other. I love conspiracy theories. So I opt for the notion that the WASP establishment from top-tier schools shamed us First Gens from non-top-tier schools into hating ourselves - and therefore each other. They saw our raw energy and talent and knew they had to kill it off.
Whatever. They certainly did a job on us First Gens, that is until the turn of century. Thanks to two economic depressions since 2001, we First Gens have got it that it's us who are bouncing back - and often stronger and more successful than before - after layoffs, firings, and our businesses' tanking. Therefore, we certainly have something to share with our fellow First Gens. And share is exactly what we've been doing since 2000.
See, we couldn't miss the reality, no matter how the supposed upper-class previously beat us down, what we got inside - intact. That's the innate drive, unself-conscious ability to scramble and try new things, and common sense to spot actual opportunity. And that's exactly what's needed to survive and thrive in these not-ordinary economic times.
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Silicon Valley public relations guru, who started out in a community college and then went to a state university, Marsha Keeffer puts it this way:
"When I finally got into the big time professionally, the Ivy Leaguers, or as I have come to call them "The Crusties," might have had some advantages. [The article in THE WALL STREET JOURNAL "Ivy Leaguers' Big Edge" by Sarah E. Needleman documents that.]
"But, the more deeply you go into your discipline and the more jolts you get from a changing organization, power structure, industry, technology, and economy, the less pedigree, ranging from an undergraduate degree from Harvard or your CEO father's contacts, will provide. It can't and won't give you the sidelined a platform for hanging in, finding something else, or more often starting all over again.
"The Crusties have been dropping like flies. I read that everyday in your blog here, Jane. Look at today's headline in THE AMERICAN LAWYER: "Laid-off Cadwalader Attorneys May Have Tough Time Finding Work, Say Recruiters." Pedigree might help a few of those 96 associates and partners who were terminated. A few.
"The rest, and I assume many of them are from white-collar backgrounds, will be thrown into a brutal marketplace that they might not be able to navigate. Do they know how to go after something in a non-linear fashion? And can they get help, real help, from survivors and hustlers like you and me, Jane?
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It's so natural that we really can help each other because we First Gens, under the civility protective coloring we had to pick up or at least thought we had to, were born to struggle. It's not a surprise to us that making a living is hard. So, when we give each other blunt advice - "Yeah, you better take that lousy survival job for now" - and point to possible opportunity we listen to each other. There's no script from our parents, early network, traditional counselors that dictates the game has to be played one way.
Could we approach The Crusties that way? It would take years to break through the crust. Why bother? And would they "pass it on" to others? That culture is highly individualistic, not communal. There was no old neighborhood.
Can The Crusties learn what we know intuitively? They better if they want to make a living. Here's some First Gen Mafia straight talk:
- There are no guaranteed payoffs. So, get over feeling cheated by having invested so much in good grades, hard work, and networking. We create our careers anew every day. Opportunity, not handed-down success formulas bring home the bacon. Anyway, if we know how to play the cards we're holding, we can use all those "investments" some day. In this blog, which gets me plenty of new consulting assignments, I leverage my IL "investment."
- Find other hustlers to hang with. Ditch all Crusties.
- When we can't hang on to what we got, we try new things. We keep trying them until we can make a decent living doing one or more of them.
- We're downright pushy in helping others whom we sense will pass that help on.
- We know we will have to struggle in our careers until we no longer want to or have to work.
- No sense getting upset about those watching us stumble. If they were in reality they would be too busy struggling themselves to notice us.
Here is a list of First Gen Mafia assistance I've gotten since 2001:
- An Italian psychotherapist provided her services at the fee I could afford when my two boutiques collapsed.
- A woman who made it from the slums of Hartford gave it to me straight how to sell my house at the top of the market in 2004. The proceeds paid off 70 percent of credit-card debt.
- A man from a farm in Germany who worked for a global company did all my IT work free.
- Marsha Keeffer hammered me to embrace my strengths and blow off my weaknesses.
- An acquaintance from my old neighborhood in Jersey City, New Jersey read my blogs every day until enough readers did to make me figure I should continue.
And, yes, I'm passing it on.