Law And More

Back to Office - What We Know (not much, since Delta Variant)

Both the actual Delta variant and the new CDC guidelines have derailed or will probably derail all those tidy policies about back to the office. That applies to both law firms and in-house counsel.

Little is known.

But, on the vaccination front, what is known, reports Bloomberg Law, is that the following law firms require vaccinations for back to the office:

Cooley

Paul Weiss

Wharton & Garrison

Sanford Heisler

David Wright

Meanwhile, on Main Street, there is anticipation of yet another lockdown. As for masks, they have been popping up here in the southwest in retail, both worn by clerks and shoppers.

And, what will happen to the recovery and the stock market are wild cards.

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NALP Foundation Study of Class of 2017

The NALP Foundation survey is out. Here you can read it.

The Foundation interviewed the Class of 2017. Essentially it was lots of good news.

96% reported they were employed. And 85% indicated they were satisfied with their employment.

Let's see what plays out with the burned-out Class of 2021. 

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The IP Law Partner, The Psychic, The Public Nuisance Class-Action Lawsuit, and The Cleanser

Short Short Fiction by Jane Genova

"Something odd is happening in this building."

That's all that Seth Rosen could think to say.

Again, the sex, the affection, the everything had been unsatisfactory with his lover, another IP lawyer Walter Clark.

Clark feigned interest. But did it in a lawyerly way so Rosen knew this conversation wouldn't reset the mood to where it had been 15 months ago. That's when he had met Clark at a New York state bar meeting.

"In what way 'odd?'" That was Clark. He was in as much shut-down as Rosen.

Both were in dry IP. Unlike lawyers in foodborne illnesses like those at Marler Clark or a class action discrimination one on the defense side at Paul Weiss they never had to master the art of human touchpoints. Not in practicing law. So, why the hell even bother with anything personal, that's what they thought. 

Surprisingly, in the first months of their relationship there had been moments of connection. Now, just walls constructed with gray matter. Law students couldn't have been more cartoonish in how conversations were constructed.

"That's it. I don't know. I feel it." 

Rosen might have been feeling it right then.

"It first happened when I was getting the mail in the lobby."

 Since first coming to Manhattan as an associate in the New York branch of a Silicon Valley firm, Rosen had lived in a 18-story uncharming coop on E. 79th. Family inheritance paid for the first-floor two-bedroom apartment. The only one who knew why he never lived about the first floor had been his first male lover Arthur Vega, a criminal defense lawyer. "There is that overwhelming compulsion to jump."

Clark, a fan of horror writer Stephen King, perked up. Encouraged, Rosen let loose, as much as a tight-ass like himself could.

"That woman who lives two doors over. She was getting her mail out of her mailbox. No, we didn't look at each other. But an electric current. I swear. It came from her. It started in my arm and went down my leg."

Clark hugged Rosen. This was getting good.

"It wasn't a Stephen King novel. It was some other story. A lawyer becomes inhabited by spirit of a dead man who wants revenge for his murder. No, the lawyer hadn't defended the killer who got off. It was crazier than that. The lawyer had turned down the defense case. He was a jerk so the spirit figured the killer wouldn't have gotten the guy off."

Rosen turned white. The feeling was in the room.

"So how did the story end?"

Clark knew he had to lie.

"A cleanser got rid of the spirit." Actually the lawyer committed suicide.

A super pragmatist Rosen was elated that this oddness had bought a second life to their relationship.

The elation had a short shelf life.

Two days later, he opened his apartment door. Outside that same women from the mailbox had tarot cards laid out. She was transfixed.

Professionally trained to be cautious, Rosen firmly but civilly asked her, "Is there something you would like?'

Her eyes rolled back in her head. She gathered her cards up. She put them in a cute multi-colored bag. Without looking back she went into her own apartment.

"There's nothing we can do." That's what the head of the coop board told Rosen. After all, there had been no witnesses. Also, a few others in the building had observed that Rosen had seemed too wound tight. Could Rosen be having a psychotic episode.

The feeling had taken over his entire body. It wasn't local and it wasn't going off and off any more. 

"Don't you feel it?" Rosen demanded of Clark. Oh, Clark felt it. In fact, they no longer used the master bedroom. The force field was too strong there.

"Sue her." 

Gratitude flowed over Rosen. Clark was spot-on.

And there was evidence. Rosen had invested mega money into a security system. It had picked up the woman standing outside his door, chanting. She sprinkled some kind of wet substance on the carpet outside. She took the tarot cards out of her bag, shuffled them, picked three, and chanted some more. Then back in the bag. About 14 times she had done that, including four times in just one night. 

"First I have to do, well, a little pre-discovery." Cheered up, Rosen even joked around. He planned to find out more about her. The private investigator he hired he had used before on a case. The moniker he went by was Call Me Thorough. 

Well, her name, it turned out. was Ireland O'Hara. That is, her legal name. Her professional one was Arial of the Angles. Annually her reported income from providing tarot readings for entertainment purposes was about $320,000. That probably didn't include hefty tips. No criminal record. But rumors of criminal mischief. Just rumors. She lived alone. Never had been married. Had no chidren. The coop had no record of pets.

Rosen interviewed firms specializing in public nuisance. They included Motley Rice. What he came up with was a solo practice in Salem, Massachusttes. That lawyer Shorty Cabrese had had experience with paranormal cases. He made his brand suing a fradulent psychic. 

"I want injunctive relief from that public nuisance. Ms. O'Hara has tresspassed onto my soul. She must get out. Then there are damages. Of course, I am under psychiatric care."

Cabrese arranged with a Manhattan lawyer to file the complaint in New York City Supreme Court.

But, before that, Call Me Thorough had found out that O'Hara had psychically stalked others. They had considered taking some kind of action but feared she would jinx them. Rosen's legal team nudged them into joining the lawsuit. O'Hara owned property in Westchester in New York and Fairfield County in Connecticut. She was worth suing.

Certification came easily.

A jury of their peers came down hard on the psychic. Shame on her, she was misusing her gift.

But, ha-ha, try to enforce the injunction. The legal system lacks a paranormal squad. 

"She is out of the building. But the feeling ..." Rosen had lost 30 pounds. Clark was hanging in but was becoming frayed himself. He had lost most of his hair. Was Ariel also targeting him? 

"Call me Shorty."  Rosen and Clark had rented a car and had driven to his office in Salem.

Cabrese wanted to unload those two. He got his fee. And he knew these two tight-assed lawyers were sitting ducks for mischief-making spirits. He hadn't been living in Salem without knowing plenty about what goes on in the other dimension. The default was there. O'Hara had probably left the "case" open for others to penetrate the boundaries of lawyers who assumed they were unpenetrable. 

"Okay, Shorty. What should we do now? We are considering reporting you to the Massachusettes bar. Injuctive relief, our ass."

Alpha Rosen had been broken enough to talk in the "we" frame.

"Yeah, injunctive relief, my ass."

Clark held onto his alpha. No "we."

But Clark's bravado wouldn't last. 

Scared, Shorty directed the two to a Cleanser on Essex Street in Salem. He hated inflicting the two arrogant guys from Manhattan on anyone. 

The Cleanser who called herself "Adjaxx" (she used two "xs" so not to violate copyright) did her hocus-pocus. Rosen had to rub his left knee with olive oil every three hours. And garlic on the right one, at the same time. That meant setting the alarm during the night.

Clark had to pluck a hair from his head every week and meditate on it for 49 minutes daily. You bet, set the alarm to get the timing just right. Too long or too little and the spell on him wouldn't have been removed. 

That worked. Within six months the spirits backed off. At least the ones who have been chasing after the two.

After such a major trauma, the relationship fell apart. Clark blamed Rosen for inviting the spirts in. With his lack of humanity he was spiritbait, right. Rosen resented that Clark seemed to enjoy the encounter with the paranormal a bit too much. He had a hunch Clark was penning a novel about their unwelcome encounter with the spirit world.

O'Hara had to sell some real estate to pay up the verdict and legal costs. She planned to circle back to Rosen, Clark, et al. 

Shorty retired from practing law and shifted to cleansing. He talked Ajaxx into a partnership. She had billed Rosen and Clark thousands of dollars for not much heavy lifting. Yeah, the only expenses for her were for olive oil, garlic, and a plucking tweezer. 

Darkness fell on the coop. There had been three suicides, all from the 14th floor. The New York Post had a ball with the headline: "Jinxed on Wealthy on UES Manhattan." Again, Rosen was scared. However, he had no idea what he was in for.

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Too Jewish, Too Gay, Too Whatever for a Female - Myth of the Melting Pot

"Jackie Mason, When Told He Was Too Jewish, Stuck With His Shtick" - James R. Hagery, The Wall Street Journal, July 28, 2021.

Jackie Mason succeeded, despite being slapped down with the labeling of "too."

Of course, he must have struggled emotionally. But on a professional level he made it big. And, that's what matters most in America. This is America, not some country with a less careerist ethos.

And, in America, judgments are harsh. Despite whatever efforts could be made on reputation restoration for Bill Gates, he will wind up The Unforgiven. 

That goes back to the self-righteous Puritans. That value system still prevails. Just listen to the tone and language used by Morgan Stanley's Eric Grossman about law firms serving his account circling back to the office full-time. Grossman could have fit in nicely as a Puritan hellfire-and-brimstone minister. 

The majority of those who weren't a perfect fit with American social norms (as well as being from central casting in a professional persona) have suffered. I know that from doing career coaching. For men, for instance, they were "too short" for the perfect executive image in Corporate America, at least back before the era of wildly achieving oddball entrepreneurs. 

There has been and still is the "too gay." Fortunately, America has a good legal system. "Too gay" Sargeant Keith Wildhaber won $2.8 million in damages and $17 million in punitive damages. The jury agreed that the St. Louis police department blocked his promotion because he didn't fit how those in law enforcement should look, talk, walk and more. 

Women, especially those who are lawyers and mothers, are being hammered (despite third-wave feminism) about just about everything. One recent dustup had been in the American Bar Journal about what a lawyer-mother should say or not say about career obstacles. 

As is obvious, the negative assessment of being "too Jewish" or Jewish at all still dominates. Actually, it is escalating.

Again, I know.

Although I am not Jewish, I have been harassed in the midwest and even in looser Arizona because it was and is assumed I am a "New York Jew." Call that "antisemitism lite." The "evidence" used to persecute me in that way include my deep Jersey City, New Jersey accent and Eastern European facial features/body stye. (Also, since I grew up in a Jewish neighborhood I fall into Yiddish slang but I cut that out as too dangerous. I don't want my car keyed.)

Incidentally, late novelist Philip Roth focused a lot on ethnic self-hate. He might have been onto something big. That could be the missing piece in trying to figure out how Yale Law School one-time star team Jed Rubenfeld and Amy Chua (Tiger Mom) fell from grace. 

The elephant in the room on this one is this: Can this blatant kind of discrimination change?

Well, those in the front lines of diversity are trying.

Everyman and Everywoman are being encouraged by coaches, therapists, and loved ones to "be themselves." That simulates, of course, the Dove meme that everyone is beautiful.

Also, powerful institutions such as the law firms in BigLaw are bringing issues such as the current antisemitism mainstream and pushing back against them.

For example, at Paul Weiss its chairperson Brad Karp organized about 50 other law firms to come out strongly against antisemitism. Paul Weiss has also been an early adopter in initiatives for nuts-and-bolts social justice. Among the accomplishments has been the COVID Resource Center. Through it, even those COVID victims living paycheck to paycheck can gain access to assistance.  

Maybe the first stop in all this, though, is to dismantle cherished American myths like the melting pot. Yeah sure.

Vividly I recall the nuns at St. Boniface Roman Catholic grade school, based in the tenement district of Jersey City, socializing us children of immigrants to The American Way. That included the all-American breakfast. No more Polish pancakes. Nonono. Guess for me that didn't take. I continue to be sized up as way "too Jewish."

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Lawyers "not in the right headspace" - Saving Lives through Sports (not the ABA)

Simone Biles is the most recent high-profile athlete to be, as the AP reports, "not be in the right headspace."

Earlier Michael Phelps had disclosed that he also had drifted into that kind of dark space. He had even contemplated suicide. 

So, what could be happening is that it is from the world of sports that lawyers struggling with mental illness can find insight, genuine compassion, and the inspiration to consider the tradeoffs involved in what could constitute saving their lives.

The thinking on this one might go: If those high-paid, talented, and revered athletes struggle with psychiatric problems maybe it's okay that I do too. Also, like them, maybe I should consider restructuring my life, my work, and even my social network to accommodate my mental illness. But, first, yes, I will talk with someone about this. That first step could be a close friend or a mental-illness expert.

The American Bar Association has tried to provide support. It had, for example, partnered with Hazelden Betty Ford to research mental illness in the legal profession. 

But help from the inside might not be where it needs to come from. After all, inside is danger. Inside licenses can be lost. Inside reputations can go poof. Inside could mean being forced out of the job.

The late 42-year-old partner at Sidley Austin Gabe MacConaill assumed that was exactly how things worked inside BigLaw. In an article in Law.com, his wife Joanna Litt indicated that Gabe had been overwhelmed during both his representation of Matress Firm and his law firm committee work. He didn't dare "get help," not even going to the ER. He was certain if that got known he would be finished. Instead he committed suicide with a gun.

Maybe Biles and Phelps have given permission to the Gabes to risk all professionally - yes, currently a career is all - to save one's life. No secret: The way many forms of mental illness play out is that situation can evolve, as with Gabe, to life and death.

And, it isn't getting better in the legal profession. Prestigious law firms have been throwing money at junior lawyers. Essentially that looks like a tradeoff for them to sacrifice normal human touchpoints for the demands of serving client needs. In sports the analogy would be serving the needs of the fans. 

In general, the sports world is a lot more glam than toiling like a medieval monk amid paper documents. Stars (or many former stars) in it who step away from all that to, well, what might be saving their lives provide the role models and the nudge lawyers (and law students) could require. They can admit things may be getting pretty dark. And they can make a commitment to save their lives, no matter what that entails. In the medieval world the mindset was all about saving your soul. Now, it has come down to in so many lines of work to balance extreme success with saving your life.

The first round of COVID taught all professional to assess what matters - that is, if we were blessed with being able to continue to live.

The recent activity in the sports world presents a bigger-bang Moment of Clarity or Ah-Ha Experience. The takeaway is this: We all do have a right to live. Success may come with too high a cost in the current speeded-up version of the "Hunger Games" for too many professionals.

Disclosure: I have strugged with clinical depression since age 11. Four members of my family had committed suicide. It required a lot of inner engineering to save my life.

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Activision Blizzard - Beyond the Lawsuit, Threatened Walkout, $8 Billion Drop in Stock Price to Question of Prevention

Workplace culture, again.

And again there is the issue of a leader's being tone-deaf.

That's what Chief Executive Officer of Activision Blizzard Bobby Kotick admitted to being, reports Bloomberg Law. He did that to prevent a walkout of employees tomorrow. Here is his letter to constituents, including the employees.

That walkout was planned as a response to the corporation's perceived lack of an appropriate response to the filing of a discrimination lawsuit.

That complaint is "California Department of Fair Employment and Housing v. Activision Blizzard."

Here is a copy of the complaint.

And here is the press release on that filing from that Department.

Essentially, it is an allegation of an "Animal House" type workplace culture. The more up-to-date language for this, of course, is "frat-boy culture."

In addition, as is becoming increasingly standard, today Kotick contracted with law firm WilmerHale to conduct an internal review of the accusations in the lawsuit. Meanwhile also today, the stock lost 9% of its value, documents Insider. Since the filing of the lawsuit last Friday the market value of the video-gaming company has gone down almost $8 billion. Activision Blizzard is known for its popular video games such as "Overwatch," "Call of Duty," and "Candy Crush."

Some of those observing this rapid unraveling of a supposed cool video-game brandname as overdue. The alleged frat-boy antics were supposedly long embedded in the culture. 

The smart crisis management today by Kotick is a sign that the corporation can turn this around. Investors can probably expect the stock to begin rebounding.

Unlike equally tone-deaf Eric Grossman at Morgan Stanley and Jamie Dimon at JPMorgan Chase, Kotick fixed his initial blunders. Currently he is following the fundamentals of crisis management. Not only did he do his mea culpa. He also took the action of authorizing a respected law firm to do the kind of investigation which mainstream America found out existed during the allegations of sexual misconduct at Fox. Those actions send the right signals. 

However, the elephant in the room is this question: Could all this have been prevented? And, will investors begin to expect preventive measures. If they have not been taken, the CEO could be fired. Already, reports The Wall Street Journal, that is happening. It is more likely that CEOs will lose their positions for a failure in managing a social issue than a financial one.

If a corporation such as Activision Blizzard has on retainer a law firm or multiple law firms which have ESG practices (Environmental Social and Enviromental) couldn't there have been proactive guidance and actions taken? That is, those heading the ESG practices alert the client to the risks - legal, political, branding, stockprice, and customer relations - related to both values and actual behavior. Next, there are recommended initiatives. 

Do the current roles of lawyers, at least in ESG practices, include that of culture coach?

Some ESG practices such as the one created in April 2020 at Paul Weiss by Brad Karp are structured to cover that kind of territory.  Following is the mission statement. Note the language and tone are about guidance. 

"Business leaders face greater pressure to increase their organizations’ resilience while simultaneously addressing social issues of importance to stakeholders. Our advisory practice helps companies navigate the legal, business and political ramifications of developing and implementing ESG initiatives. We advise on matters such as stakeholder engagement, corporate governance, crisis management, corporate social responsibility, sustainability, diversity and inclusion, ethics and compliance."

In addition, law firms such as Jenner & Block which have practices specifically focused on toxic workplaces also can come to provide proactive guidance. The target market for that would be businesses blind to how they are operating right on the cultural third rail. 

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Obviously ...

The Great Of-Course: Law.com reports that the Delta variant and slow acceptance of vaccinations dominate law firm talk about return to the office. 

Reflection: Why is this a story? 

Is media becoming an anachronism? Will events and issues be simply streamed and then it's up to us to connect the dots? Not some editor or producer?

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Remember the Term "Post-COVID"

How optimistic: To have used the term "Post-COVID."

There could be no Post-COVID for years. 

And if the pandemic really ends, we are unlikely to circle back the term "Post-COVID."

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