Way back in the 80s - before the work world spun into a new dimension - Judith Viorst published what was then a breakthrough book: "Necessary Losses." It advocates pruning our lives of what was no longer a fit. That included people.
In the second decade of the 21st century Henry Cloud reinforced that wisdom with his book "Necessary Endings." Cloud even provided advice on mourning rituals to help lay to rest relationships which were holding us back.
This week I published a book on how seasoned professionals can outsmart their comfort zone. Embedded in comfort zones which keep us stuck are people from the past. In the fast time of 2018, that could include a colleague from two months ago. The book caught fire. Here you can download it free Download Over50OutsmartingYourComfortZone.
A major reason people impede our success is that we influence each other cell-by-cell. That field of force is called "mirror neutrons." Their existence had been discovered by researchers in Italy.
But, most of us had a hunch long before that that there were people who were simply no good for us. Our mothers, the nuns in Roman Catholic school, early mentors, and therapists sternly dictated: Keep away from X. Often, the hard way, we found out they were right.
My delayed ah-ha experience was in 2014. A therapist from 2003 had warned me that, since I was changing so much, those from the supposed good old days would be excess baggage I no longer needed to lug around.
I didn't listen. The Disaster of May 2014 occurred. Since then, I have made it my mission in coaching to help other professionals sort out the content of their comfort zone. Some of that should stay.
For example, a client holds on to the relationship with a difficult aunt. That serves to keep her grounded about what kind of life she could return to if she doesn't continue to grow.
Contact Jane Genova firstname.lastname@example.org.