"No One Goes to Heaven to See Dan Fogelberg" is a chilling short story by B.J. Novak.
The premise is that when we pass over to heaven we reunite with family. Those are exactly the ones it took us decades of psychotherapy and mindfulness to extricate their imprints from our subconscious.
Novak is piggybacking on the growing acceptance of the belief in some kind of afterlife. In fact, there are now tutorials in how to help the deceased on our networks, who get stuck in this realm as "earthbound spirits," to make that journey over. If this assumption is on the money then those of us from dysfunctional families have every reason to remain earthbound.
A necessary solution might be to have skilled contract lawyers such as those at Cravath, Swaine & Moore create a bulletproof document listing those we want no interaction with in heaven. That would range from in person to tweets. Actually, the contract should also cover who gets to guide us over to Paradise as we take our last breaths.
Of course, there will be exceptions to the no-family rule. I would welcome a second shot at a relationship with my younger sister, Anne Murga-Ring. We haven't talked since 2003. The contract could provide incentives for that party to allow a 90-day trial period of one weekly in person meeting and one daily tweet. Since I will likely be uploaded to Paradise before she will, she might see the advantage of learning the ropes from someone she once seemed to love and trust.
Cravath, Swaine & Moore can contact me with what the fee for service would be: Jane Genova, email@example.com. I demand a project, not hourly, rate.